O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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