1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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