here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
