Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
this will be a night to untag.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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