You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
