Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
