If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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