I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
