He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
