I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
