Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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