i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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