when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
