Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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