it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
