It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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