do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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