we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
high people should be assigned attendants
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
