dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
