Already got asked if we're dating
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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