Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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