The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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