Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize