wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
false alarm, still single
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
