So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize