I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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