I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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