The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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