well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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