I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The adults are the big ones right?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
