so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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