there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
