We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize