and i looked up. we had an audience...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
