Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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