OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
