you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Randomize
