Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
