I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
