And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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