Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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