well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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