I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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