Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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