Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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