I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
