I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
