so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
