from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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