I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
