Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
