do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's just like the Real World with babies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
