somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
