Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
