all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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