Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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