drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
