Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
