Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
