Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
