Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize